this one's for the geeks

Michael Feld and associates at MIT have developed a new three-dimensional microscopy method by which they can view live cells/organisms at extremely high resolutions with no preparation and without having to alter or hurt the subject. (Pictured above is C. elegans, one of the least harmful of the parasitic nematodes, imaged using their new method.)

Here is the article if you’re interested in reading it, which I’m sure you all will be!

Why Men are Happier

Our last name stays put.
The garage belongs to us.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
We can never get pregnant.
We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Heck, we can wear NO shirt to the water park.
Car mechanics tell us the truth.
We never have to drive to the next gas station restroom because the one we’re at is too icky.
We don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress: $2000. Tuxedo: $100 rental.
People don’t stare at our chest when they talk to us.
The occasional well-rendered belch is not only appreciated by our friends, but practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
One hormone system for all stages of our life.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
We know stuff about tanks and guns.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
We can open our own jars.
We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
Our underwear is only $8.95 for a three-pack.
We almost never have strap problems in public.
We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
We only have to shave our face.
We can play with toys all our life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.
We can fix our nails with a pocket knife.
We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
We can do all of our Christmas shopping on December 24th in 25 minutes flat.

Hat tip Fundamental Forums.

Prevailing.

As darkness fades, he wakes at dawn
The dusty air inhaling.
He drops his head to say a prayer
For what the day’s entailing.
No dew nor drop of water near
His thirst is yet unfailing.
He sees his fallen comrades near
And knows we’re unavailing.
They cannot win the conflict here
With those back home derailing
Their every victory and advance
And every plan detailing.

It saddens me that here at home
Some insist “We’re failing!
But I’m the answer, vote for me”
Their true intentions veiling.
And others still fight for the rights
Of those we should be jailing,
And some don’t like it when we watch
The ones that we’re surveilling
“For they’ve got rights as much as we.”
Our laws are not availing
The capture of these wretched men
While they’re all out regaling.

And still our boys are far from home
The enemy assailing
Risking life and spilling blood
While Congress calls for bailing.
The only way we’ll win abroad
Is if we stop the railing
Support the troops, and in the war
We’ll finally be prevailing.

-P. Ellis

could you repeat that?

We enter the Thai restaurant.

Matt heard:
Thai waitress: “Blah blah blah?”
Matt: “Excuse me?”
Thai waitress: “Blah blah blah?”
Matt (a little embarrassed): “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Thai waitress: “Are you right or left handed?”
Matt (nervously): “I’m…right-handed…”
Thai waitress: “Umm…”
Matt (whispers): “Phil, help.”
Phil (laughing): “No, we don’t have reservations.”

I heard:
Thai waitress: “Do you have reservations?”
Matt: “Excuse me?”
Thai waitress: “Do you have reservations?”
Matt (a little embarrassed): “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Thai waitress: “Do you have reservations?”
Matt (nervously): “I’m…right-handed…”

Priceless.

Pavlov's beep

I used to work for a medical laser company based out of Stuart, FL. We would bring our lasers to the ORs of local hospitals and assist the surgeons during operations. I live in Melbourne, but the area I covered stretched from Cape Canaveral to Ft. Lauderdale. I drove at least as far as Port St. Lucie three times a week.

We used 4 types of lasers, each for different applications: YAG, Holmium, KTP, and CO2. Oftentimes at the end of a work day, I’d have to drive down to Stuart to swap whatever lasers I had in my van for the ones I’d need the next day. Taking into consideration the volatility of operating schedules, you can imagine surgeries were constantly being cancelled, rescheduled, and postponed. There were many times that I would drive the 1.5 hours down south, switch out lasers, and then drive back home, only to have the schedules change. I’d have to turn around and drive back down to get a different laser…sometimes the one that I had just dropped off. Other days I’d get home from a long day, only to be called and told I need to be in Okeechobee or Port St. John within a couple of hours for an “emergency” surgery.

During the 11 months that I worked for the laser company, I was on-call every night, every weekend, and every holiday. I remember one Saturday morning in particular, my friends and I had planned an off-shore fishing trip, but I got a call early Saturday morning that I needed to be in surgery at 8am. My friends left for the boat drop without me. I waited at the hospital for almost an hour before the surgery was cancelled. I jumped in my van and started speeding toward the drop to see if I could catch my friends before they shoved off. I was still in my scrubs, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to fish. I called all of their cell phones, but I had missed them by about 20 minutes. Serenity now.

Through it all…the long drives and short weekends, the on-call nights and the paranoia that I’d missed a call for a surgery…through all of it, the medium through which I was tethered to this life of unpredictability was my stupid Nextel phone and its insidious push-to-talk *beep beep.* I would cringe every time I heard that sound, because I just that it meant that I was about to drive a few more hours, or I’d be missing a fun weekend get-together. I began to really loathe that sound and my heart would skip a beat every time I’d hear it.

It’s been nearly 3.5 years since I’ve worked for that company or had a Nextel phone, but I heard the beeping the other day, and for a fleeting moment all those old feelings of anxiety and annoyance whelmed within me. I knew it wasn’t my phone and I wasn’t going to have to drive to Miami, but I guess I still have some pretty strong emotions tied to that sound that have yet to subside.

If only I could get the neighbor kid to mow my lawn when he hears a phone ring…