Why Men are Happier

Our last name stays put.
The garage belongs to us.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
We can never get pregnant.
We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Heck, we can wear NO shirt to the water park.
Car mechanics tell us the truth.
We never have to drive to the next gas station restroom because the one we’re at is too icky.
We don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress: $2000. Tuxedo: $100 rental.
People don’t stare at our chest when they talk to us.
The occasional well-rendered belch is not only appreciated by our friends, but practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
One hormone system for all stages of our life.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
We know stuff about tanks and guns.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
We can open our own jars.
We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
Our underwear is only $8.95 for a three-pack.
We almost never have strap problems in public.
We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
We only have to shave our face.
We can play with toys all our life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.
We can fix our nails with a pocket knife.
We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
We can do all of our Christmas shopping on December 24th in 25 minutes flat.

Hat tip Fundamental Forums.