do it for the children!

Automobiles are abused. There are actually people on the road right now that are driving drunk and/or under the influence of some illegal drug. There are also people driving around with either no license or a revoked/suspended license. People steal cars and use them in crimes; others use vehicles to try and kill other people (e.g. the UNC incident).

According to the CDC, 45,113 people died in automobile accidents in the U.S. in 2004. Aside from disease and natural causes, car accidents are the leading cause of death in America. Shouldn’t we ban all cars, trucks, suv’s, and motorcycles? Look at all the abuses and deaths! If not for ourselves, we should do it for the children!

This argument is obviously ridiculous. Just because there are a few crazies out there who abuse automobiles, it doesn’t mean that the law-abiding citizens should have to buy a horse and buggy like Jedediah and Zechariah. There should be strict punishment for those who break the law, but the responsible people who follow the laws should be left alone.

Now, let’s look at gun control. The vast majority of gun owners in this country are licensed, responsible, and follow the laws relating to gun ownership. Granted, there are some retards who use guns illegally (e.g. carry without a license/permit, steal them to commit crimes, kill people with them, etc.), but that doesn’t mean we should ban them from everyone. Punish the criminals, but don’t disarm the populace in the name of a safer environment. (We've got to protect the children!) We all know that gun control cannot work. It’s been proven over and over in cities all over the world.

-Just for comparison’s sake, 29,569 people died in 2004 in a firearm related incident, including police shootings, accidents, and suicides. (Suicides alone account for over half of all firearm related deaths.) Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Brady!

Put on some headphones...

...and enjoy holophonic sound!

Best way to catch an illegal? A Bullet.

My friend, Ben, works for the Border Patrol in Ajo, Arizona. His unit recently confiscated some horses from drug runners in the area, and the animals have now been transformed into agents of our federal government. Instead of roaming the desert in his 4x4, Ben now mounts his faithful steed, Bullet, to run his patrols in search of illegals; and apparently, Bullet is just as excited about catching the bad guys as Ben is.

Ben loves his job, but he does, occasionally, become dispirited with the handling of our border security. He’s told me that for every truck seized, 4 more cross the border unhindered. The agents know it, but there’s not much they can do to stop it. There simply is not enough manpower or resources to catch them all. The drug lords have scouts on every mountain top fully outfitted with nightvision and radio communications. They watch every move our boys make, and counter by relaying to runners the best routes to avoid being caught.

According to the DEA, here are the official statistics of the amounts of confiscated drugs in Arizona for 2006 alone:

12.5 lbs of Hashish
188.5 lbs of Heroine
1,472.5 lbs of Methamphetamine
6,655.9 lbs of Cocaine
777,499.8 lbs of Marijuana

If the CBP are only catching 20% of those crossing the border, imagine how many drugs are actually making it to the streets to be sold to our kids.

I’ve got several theories that would explain why our government is so sedentary in their attitude toward our borders, but I think I’ll save those for another day. Besides, you might think I’m nutsier than I already know you think I am.

Check this out

Nothing like violent Frenchmen.

Thanks to Joe Healy for the link.

YouDebate 2008

Did you catch any of the Youtube Democratic Presidential Debate Monday night? I don’t have any television stations at home, but I did see about 10 minutes of it while I waited for my sandwich at Firehouse Subs (their Club-on-a-Sub is divine!). The 2 questions I heard were:

“Hello, America. Hello, presidential candidates. This is Will from Boston, Massachusetts. And I hope, you know, they put this question on. It's a question in the back of everybody's head. You know, in some people, it's further back than others, collecting cobwebs.
But is African-Americans ever going to get reparations for slavery?
I know you all are going to run around this question, dipping and dodging, so let's see how far you all can get.”

and:

“Do you believe the response in the wake of Hurricane Katrina would have been different if the storm hit an affluent, predominantly white city? What roles do you believe race and class played in the storm's aftermath? And if you acknowledge that race and class affected the response efforts, what can you do to ensure that this won't happen in the future? And what can you do to ensure this nation's most needy people, in times of crisis and always, something will be done to help them too?”

Gimme a break! CNN did a great job choosing which questions to air, don't you think? (It’s no wonder that I no longer watch television!)

CNN has cheapened these debates to the point that I simply cannot take them seriously. I’ve got no love for any of the democratic nominees (not much more for any in the GOP either, for that matter) but this "modernized" format is not fair to the candidates and it's not fair to us. I'd say it's comical at best. There’s a reason that professional reporters moderate and ask the questions in these debates. I don’t care what Dimwit from Podunk, TN has to say about Bush hating black people. I want to hear real questions about real issues facing us today. Immigration, the War, bipartisan pandering to special interest groups, etc. (Not that the reporters always ask the most pertinent questions, but it's better than a snowman asking questions about how his children will survive with the rise in global warming!)

Am I alone? Does anyone find this new format “groundbreaking,” “relative,” “engaging,” or “refreshing?” Or am I right in declaring that it's completely asinine?

guess the irrational fear

“Ever since before I can remember I've been absolutely disgusted by and afraid of them. It's gotten slightly better since I've grown up, but it's still there.”

“I don't touch them, because it would be like touching a cockroach. If I touch one by mistake, I would wash my hands for about 30 mins. I get really disgusted when people have them in their mouth, how nasty is that.”

“They disgust me and make me feel dirty and unloved.”

“If I ever end up touching one or touching something that I know one has touched I have to wash my hands thoroughly, and if there is no sink handy to do so in, I have to try to scratch off the grossness with my fingernail as best I can.”

“I am now 40, have had my phobia since I can remember. I hate the word, I hate the things, they are just gross!”

“When I was growing up I didn't realise this was a phobia - I thought it was a natural thing to be afraid of, & I couldn't understand why no one else seemed to be afraid too.”

“If I touch one I scratch my self so hard so it will come off that sometimes it bleeds and if I know my boyfriend has just touched one I won’t hold his hand.”

“If I touch one by accident, e.g. in a clothes shop, I can feel my heart suddenly jump, & sometimes I feel like I'm going to be sick.”

That last one should give you a clue. Or maybe this will help:

“The big 'four holers' are the worst & especially detached ones.”

If you haven’t guessed, all these people are talking about buttons, and I got their quotes here. I couldn’t believe this was a real phobia, but then I found Avon Hypnotherapy, a company that offers treatment for this ridiculous fear. Wow.

(If you’re a closet button hater, then I apologize if I’ve disgusted or frightened you with this post. But seriously, buttons?)

my dead body is worth a used hyundai.

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Iraqi-town, New Mexico

We need to get out of Iraq and re-deploy our troops NOW, right? I mean, after all, there is no link between Iraq and our true enemies, Al-Qaida. All of those guys are over in Afghanistan and stuff, right? So let’s take our troops back over there, because we have no business being in Iraq!

Well, as I found in this article, Khalid Abdul Fatah Da'ud Mahmud Al Mashadani knows differently. He’s the highest ranking Iraqi Al-Qaida leader…that is, until he was captured in Mosul two weeks ago. Al Mashadani has apparently indicated that Bin Laden has considerable control over the Iraqi chapter of their organization.

So, even though this is now common knowledge, why is there still such an outcry from the left to “bring our troops home?” The answer is simple: they hate our troops. I don’t buy the “We support the troops, just not the war” rhetoric. They hate the war, they hate our troops, and they hate the Commander-in-Chief. They cannot stand to see a victory for any of them because that might rally America behind this administration, and that could be devastating to the left’s chances of winning elections next year. They cannot wait to pull out of Iraq and paint it as a lost war…the Vietnam of the 21st century. You can hear the glee in their wretched voices whenever another casualty report comes out. It disgusts me.

On a lighter note, the FBI has released a report about an operation based in Chaparral, New Mexico that has been smuggling Iraqis and other Middle Easterners across our border for over a year. They used to smuggle Mexicans, but quickly learned that the Iraqis had more money. They regularly charge $20,000 to $25,000 a head. (I’m sure none of these guys have had their way paid by a terrorist state or organization...I’m sure they’re all hard-working Middle Easterners who just want a better life for their families.) Ted Kennedy really needs to propose a bill that will make the FBI loosen up on these poor global citizens!

Of course you realize that we need these guys to come over here and do jobs that Americans won’t do, e.g. fly planes into buildings, car bomb cafés, suicide bomb schools…

“Always read stuff that will…”

"…make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”
–P.J. O’Rourke

A new employee just started a couple of weeks ago and was given a desk across from me in my office. As I was walking by her desk today, I happened to glance over and read the title of the book she was apparently reading: Principles of Manipulation. As I walked back to get a better look, I was considering having a heart-to-heart with her boyfriend, who is also an employee here. It turned out that a cup on her desk was hiding a rather necessary word. Actual title of the book: Principles of Gene Manipulation.

Those silly biologists and their gene manipulation!

title justification

I started this blog in January, and I’m not sure that I’ve ever written a post that was actually about biology. (That’s probably been a good decision because most of you would be about as bored as Rosie O’Donnell at a photo shoot for the next NYPD: Men in Uniform calendar.) However, in order to justify my blog title, I’ll try to sporadically talk a little science for you.

On to our topic…

Most notable discoveries have come after long periods of failure (e.g. Thomas Edison and his thousands of failed filaments). Trials and errors are facts of life in the scientific community, but this is not as bad as it sounds because we can often learn more from a failed experiment than we can from a successful one. (I’ll explain that another time.) Then there are the times when you think you’ve reached a pinnacle moment, but the scientific method has a way of pulling an air horn out of his long white beard, surreptitiously aiming it at the most vulnerable part of your mountain, and toppling your masterpiece while guiding the ensuing avalanche directly into your face. This is usually when you feel like joining the French Foreign Legion and changing your name to Jean-Claude.

Conversely, there are those few times when things work out and your hypothesis proves to be testable, observable, demonstratable, and repeatable. These are momentous occasions and usually excite me just enough to get me through another round of trial and error.

In short, my relationship to science has a lot in common with my relationship to golf: after a day full of slices and missed putts, that one perfect drive down the fairway makes the game enjoyable enough to justify going at least once more. That, plus, if things aren’t working out, I just hit something with a stick.

did you know...

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the Richter scale.
Chuck Norris does not get frost bite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris got cold so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen Sandiego.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Chuck Norris invented the Cesarean section when he roundhouse kicked his way out of his mother's womb.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His foot.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Jean-Claude Van Damme once beat up Chuck Norris. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris had to stop swimming in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
And finally...
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

the definition of psycho...

“From Nigeria to Indonesia, Christians are under siege in virtually every single country in the Muslim world, the victims of countless acts of discrimination, depredation, brutality, and murder that are so widespread and systematic that it can rightfully be called the new Holocaust. This time, however, the perpetrators of this Holocaust aren't wearing swastikas, but kufi skull caps and hijabs.”

This quote was taken from Islam’s Global War against Christianity over at AmericanThinker.com. (Thanks to Matt for emailing me the link.) It was an eye-opening read for me. You may be familiar with The Voice of the Martyrs, a publication that tracks the persecution of Christians worldwide. I’m sure many of their stories are related to this “new Holocaust,” but I’d never made the connection.

Sharia law is a cruel and callous master, but those who actually enforce its austere constraints are crueler still. The barbaric psychos controlling the areas that are operating under this “law” have no qualms about chopping off thieving hands, stoning “immodest” women, or beheading “infidels” living within their jurisdiction. As an American, I simply cannot fathom the hatred necessary for the propagation of such an inauspicious lifestyle.

Despite the problems I see in our own land, my gratitude to God for our country is continually renewed as I read stories such as these. No matter how bad we think it is in America, I can guarantee that someone, somewhere is fearing for their life simply for believing in Christ. And I sometimes struggle to read my Bible everyday…

more childhood memories…

By 1991, my sister, Kathy, had been obsessed with horses for most of her short life. Actually, she was truly obsessed with unicorns, but considering the fact that unicorns are about as real as the heaven awaiting deranged suicide bombers, she turned her attention to their closest (existing) cousin. She usually loathed reading back then, but she found time to read every volume in the Black Stallion series, as well as most of the Saddle Club series…and I can’t believe I remember those names!

Anyway, when she finished 7th grade on the honor roll in 1991, she was rewarded, rather handsomely I might add, with Snickers, a yearling quarterhorse that she was instantly in love with. He looked a lot like the horse pictured above: a beautiful chestnut brown with a white strip down his nose.

I know what you’re thinking: what spoiled brats we must have been! Most kids want a pony, but Kathy actually got one. We must have been rich and spoiled and our parents probably ruined us for life. Not so. We never lacked, but we were far from rich. My parents had to scrimp and save so that they could buy that horse…and it wasn’t just a reward for her grades in school, it was for being an honest, loving, helpful, sweet, all-around good kid/daughter/sister for over a decade. She well deserved that horse, and she took great care of it every day.

Now, all of that is background…here’s the story I’m really telling:

I used to go with Kathy to Scott's stables, where she boarded Snickers. It takes a lot of hard work to break a horse, so I would go to try and help her. I was only about 9 at the time, so I’m not too sure how much of a help I actually was, but that’s beside the point.

Anyway, one beautiful, South Dakota day when we got to Scott’s place, Snickers was way out in the back pasture with all the other horses and he simply did not want to come and get saddled up. Armed with only a lead rope and her wits, Kathy headed for that stubborn pack of horses with me at her heels. When we finally reached hornless beasts, they were huddled near the back fence and it was clear that they were happy just where they were. Every attempt at singling out her horse failed. Annoyed, Kathy eventually decided she would just scare the whole herd toward the stables and we could single Snickers out up there. She sent me to the right and she went to the left. She was going to chase the pack swinging her rope, and if they came toward me I was instructed to turn them toward the stables. I ambled around to the side of the pack and waited. Suddenly, Kathy started screaming and ran toward the horses with her rope swinging around above her head. In an instant the languid troop became an undulating mass of flying hooves and flailing mane. They were wild with fear, confusion, and anger…and they were headed straight for me…

(Ever have one of those slow motion moments? Maybe your foot misses a step or your car skids out of control...whatever the reason, your brain is confused and you can’t seem to find a grip on reality. For those few, fleeting moments it seems as though you’re watching everything unfold from someone else’s point of view. You know the feeling? Well, this was one of those moments.)

For an instant I froze, staring unbelieving at my inevitable fate. After what seemed like hours, I came to my senses and dashed toward my only escape: the fence. Thankfully it was only about 10 yards away, and I reached it just in time. I dove head first under the barbed wire and rolled into the neighboring pasture as dozens of hooves thundered by. I lay there for a moment, thankful to be breathing the dusty air.

As I stood up and turned to face my sister, a look of fear and surprise was still on her face. “I thought I’d killed you!” she said.

“Me too,” I replied. We stood there for a minute, just looking at each other, both of us glad that I was alive.

I crawled back under the fence and dusted myself off. Kathy gave me a hug, and with that, we took off after those horses.

range report...

Here's a picture of my brother-in-law, Caleb, fixing his sights on a silhouette a few yards away. For his first time he did rather well (especially considering he was shooting a .40). Most of his shots hit center of mass with a couple of well placed head shots for good measure. We had a blast (no pun intended) and he can't wait for the next time we go. As soon as Beth grants me enough allowance we'll be heading back to hole more paper.

if you can't ban the guns...

...ban the ammunition, because:

OSHA has proposed new rules that could potentially have a serious effect on the making, storage, and transportation of small arms ammo. If these new regulations go through, the price of ammo could sky-rocket, and many places would probably stop selling it altogether. Here are just a few things their new proposal would accomplish:

-Prohibit possession of firearms in commercial “facilities containing explosives”—an obvious problem for your local gun store.

-Require evacuation of all “facilities containing explosives”—even your local Wal-Mart—during any electrical storm.

-Prohibit smoking within 50 feet of “facilities containing explosives.”

I'm confident that stores carrying ammo (especially Wal-Mart) would not want to evacuate their entire store every time lightning flashes, and would therefore discontinue their selling of said ordnance. This would bottleneck the supply chain and drive prices up. And good luck to those who reload their own. It would probably be impossible for them to get the primers and gunpowder they need.

If, like me, you want to be heard on this issue, here are links to OSHA and the NRA:

OSHA

NRA

"Dunder-Mifflin, this is Jim..."

You scored as Jim Halpert!

Congratulations, you're Jim! How'd you get to be so awesome?

Jim Halpert		65%
Pam Beesly		53%
Ryan Howard		50%
Dwight Schrute		48%
Michael Scott		40%
Karen Fillipelli		40%
Angela Martin		30%
Creed Bratton		30%
Kelly Kapoor		28%
Kevin Malone		28%
Toby Flenderson		25%
Andy Bernard		25%
Jan Levinson		8%
Meredith Palmer		8%

Courtesy of: Dunder Mifflin Personality Quiz
created with QuizFarm.com

our grapefruit mentality

People used to be famous because they were special, but now people are special because they're famous. In an age of reality tv shows and morally-shallow moviestars, there are very few celebrities that have any talent or characteristic that justifies their fame. They're faces are simply piped into America's homes until enough people become interested in them. There's nothing special about them (other than the fact that their life is a train wreck and everyone loves to watch a disaster) and yet every move they make is followed by literally thousands of morons people.

I was reminded of this as I drove home tonight from Sunday night basketball. I usually listen to talk radio in my truck (1240 am WMMB) and news clips were playing at the top of the hour. You'll never guess what the major story was... some guy (I won't mention his name here because I refuse to give him any more recognition) who lost in American Idol a couple of years ago got into an argument with a woman on a plane over the arm rest and the woman allegedly shoved him. Our nation is at war, and this is the biggest news story they can find? Just because this guy was on a television show a couple of years ago, some anchor thinks he's special enough that I care about his getting pushed around by some lady. I don't care. No one does.

Jerry Doyle is dead on when he describes America as having a grapefruit mentality.

effectual prayers

It always amazes me that God allows us the opportunity to move His heart through our prayers. We have seen two couples in as many months reconcile their relationship after teetering on the edge of complete dissemination. I have no doubt that it is due to the effectual, fervent praying of our prayer group on Saturday nights. The joy that God can bring after such great heartache is both astonishing and overflowing!

I cannot wait to see what else the Lord has in store for us!

reminiscing...

What memories does this song invoke in you?