Mmm...steak!

Yesterday when I got home from work, a guy in a pickup stopped me as I was walking up my driveway. I figured he just needed directions or something, but then he asks me if I want to buy some steaks. I quickly declined and turned to go inside, but you know how salesmen can be. He persisted until finally I walked over to his truck just to shut him up. It was then that I remembered that my friend, Eddie, used to do this same type of thing. (Some of my friends will remember crazy Eddie, Ben’s cousin.) He’d buy steaks from this company and then sell them for a small profit. The more meat you move, the more money you make. And then I remembered how good those steaks were that Eddie used to sell. Bacon-wrapped filet mignon, butterflied filets, t-bones, you name it. And they were pretty fairly priced. So this guy starts his schpiel and tells me that he’s selling these $10 steaks for $3 each. Sounds great. I figure I’ll buy two or three of them and he’ll be on his way. Not quite. He pulls out this case of 40 steaks and says I have to buy the whole thing and it’s $200. No thank you. He starts pulling the steaks out and they look great, but there was one small problem: he was keeping them in a cooler in the bed of his truck. Who knows how long they’ve been in there…probably all day. I’m guessing those steaks were about the same temperature as the sweaty baseball cap he was wearing. OSHA would have a fit if they saw the “refrigeration system” he was using.
I wish you the best, sir, with selling your bacteria-ridden, month-old tepid t-bones. And mercy on anyone who actually buys any of that stuff!